Smart woman?

Ed finally decides to take a vacation. He books himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeds to have the time of his life–until the boat sank.

He found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies…nothing…only bananas and coconuts.

After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to him. In disbelief, he asks her, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"

"I rowed from the other side of the island," she says. "I landed here when my cruise ship sank."

"Amazing," he says. "You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you."

"Oh, this?" replies the woman. "I made the rowboat out of raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches. And the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."

"But, but, that’s impossible," stutters Ed. "You had no tools or hardware. How did you manage?"

"Oh, that was no problem," replies the woman. "On the south side of the island, there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware."

Ed is stunned. "Let’s row over to my place," she says. After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As Ed looks onto shore, he nearly falls out of the boat. Before him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.

While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, he could only stare ahead, dumbstruck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It’s not much, but I call it home. Sit down please. Would you like to have a drink?"

"No, no, thank you." he says, still dazed. "Can’t take any more coconut juice."

"It’s not coconut juice," the woman replies. "I have a still. How about a Pina Colada?" Trying to hide his continued amazement, he accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk.

After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, "I’m going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom."

No longer questioning anything, Ed goes into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside of a swivel mechanism.

"Wow! This woman is amazing!" he muses, "What next?"

When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines-strategically positioned-and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit down next to her.

"Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We’ve been out here for a really long time. You’ve been lonely. There’s something I’m sure you really feel like doing right now, something you’ve been longing for all these months. You know…" She stares into his eyes. He can’t believe what he’s hearing: "You mean—", he swallows excitedly, "I can check my email from here?!"

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My Lame Monologue???????

Well for drama (Year 9) we had to write a monologue that related to the "Hero’s Journey". Now mine is a monologue relating to the "Call for Adventure", where the hero is called upon to go save the world. Anyway, I kind of wrote this at 11:00pm because my homework load has been ridiculous and I have had no time to perfect my drama, so if it sucks, please feel free to say so:

Don’t you just hate it when people interrupt your relaxation time? Whilst I, Freda Freezington, am a hero, I also need my own "alone" time to get away from the repercussions of a superhero lifestyle. Unfortunately, most people tend to disregard this because of my occupation and they babble on about their numerous problems that I am expected to fix. And hey, I don’t have a problem with this, just as long as you don’t annoy me during vacation time. Regrettably though, the world doesn’t stop working to benefit me, and this particular call for help, involving a problem that had been occurring for two years previous, couldn’t possibly wait another two days…

Now, my particular supernatural abilities are in high demand, because not many heroes can say they have the power to change the weather and freeze whatever they like… especially when they’re frustrated or annoyed.

So for a nice change in scenery, I decided to take a vacation to the Caribbean, and stay on the tropical island of Bora Bora. One week later, people where desperately fleeing the area due to a chaotic snowstorm.

Now, of course snowstorms don’t generally occur during the Summer season, let alone on tropical islands. But the arrival of an official from some organisation asking for MY HELP during MY VACATION TIME had extremely annoyed me.

However, I had to admit that what “Mister Official Man” had to say was too important even for my vacation time. Apparently due to global warming, the Antarctic Ice caps were melting at a very dangerous rate, and if the effects were not reversed soon, the sea level would continue to rise and cause catastrophic problems for a number of island nations.

And I of course being a sucker for environmental issues meant that the very next day the snow storm stopped, and I was in Antarctica re-freezing the ice caps. Hey, it wasn’t a complete solution but at least it postponed the problem. Despite what I said about relaxation time, I’ll never be too busy for saving the world.

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What do you think about Royal Caribbean cruise ships continuing to dock at Haiti?

"On Sunday, the Guardian reported that Florida-based Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines is docking ships at the "picturesque wooded peninsula" known as Labadee, which it leases on Haiti’s northern coast. At Labadee, passengers "enjoy jetski rides, parasailing, and rum cocktails delivered to their hammocks." The British paper also reported that passengers can spend their time "shopping for trinkets at a craft market" while armed guards stand at the entry to the complex to guarantee their safety.

Despite the fact that the ships have delivered relief supplies to the island, some passengers on the ships are reportedly "sickened" over the decision to dock there. One passenger took to an Internet message board to protest the idea of vacationing where "tens of thousands of dead people are being piled up on the streets, with the survivors stunned and looking for food and water."’

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ynews/20100119/ts_ynews/ynews_ts1063

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Where can I hang glide in the caribbean?

I’m 5’9” 145lbs and my husband’s 6’3" 195lbs. We are looking for the islands that will take us tandem hang gliding. We are planning a vacation for Dec 2009.

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Need help! U.S. Virgin Island vacation opinions?

Our family wants to go to the USVI..but we’re not sure where to go. we want to go to the USVI because you dont need a passport…(so please dont give me places that you need a passport) If you can give me opinions on st.thomas, st. croix, st. john, st. martin..ect. and hotels that youve been to or you just think they’d be good i would love to know opinions! thanks much….give me any links too.. :-)
sorry, i realize now that st. martin is not in the virgin islands…but what other places dont need passports around theere…it doesnt have to be the "Virgin Islands"

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In need of some advice about traveling?

So ive decided to venture outside of my state for the first time and take a vacation. Ive decided to visit the caribbean / virgin islands (a big step for me). I was wondering if anyone would like to share some "must do-s" or good suggestions to consider before traveling.

What things should i consinder when booking a hotel? As far as money goes, should i go with travelers checks or U.S dollars? Would U.S dollars even be accepted? When trying to decide fun activies to do on my vacation how would i go about doing this? Just go to a travel planner and purchase a packaged deal? As for transportation, i know depending on where i decide to go walking could be best but overall would renting a car would be the best thing to do? How do i keep from getting sick!? I always hear (dont drink the water!) but what happens if i want to have a drink or 2 lol? Should i just bring bottled water? Any thoughts on St Lucia Island?? I Kind of had my eyes on that island but i know little about it.

If you Have any other island recommendations as well as good restaurants to visit please share.

I know thats alot of questions but this is my first trip ever and i need all the advice & help i can get. Thanks in advance!

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What can you tell me about living in the US Virgin Islands?

My husband and I are considering moving there. I’m just curious to know what other "mainlanders" that have made the move experienced. Do you like it there? Anything you wish you’d known before moving there? Thanks for any help!

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Hawaii or Caribbean? Need help deciding which one to take for a fall vacation!!?

Which is the better "beach vacation"? We are thinking about going to the Grand Wailea at Mauii, Atlantis in the Bahamas, or the Virgin Islands. We want super clear water, surfing, and snorkling. Anyone been to either of these? Thanks

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Hawaii or Caribbean? Need help deciding which one to take for a fall vacation!!?

Which is the better "beach vacation"? We are thinking about going to the Grand Wailea at Mauii, Atlantis in the Bahamas, or the Virgin Islands. We want super clear water, surfing, and snorkling. Anyone been to either of these? Thanks

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Does your mail stop in the US Virgin Islands when being shipped from the US to China?

I mailed a card to China through my local USPS office and when I got home I noticed the receipt says "94c St. John US Virgin Islands PSA"???? What does that mean? DId the post office guy send it to the wrong place or does mail go through the USVI before going to China for some reason? Was paying 94c to mail a little card to China sound about right? What does the "PSA" mean on the receipt?

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